


you’re just like an angel / your skin makes me cry

by mlmenjolras



Category: Les Misérables - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Autistic Enjolras, Communication, Cosette And Enjolras Are Siblings, Drinking, F/F, Festivus, Flashbacks, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Getting Together, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Legally Blonde References, M/M, Multi, Musician Grantaire, Non-Explicit Sex, Oblivious Enjolras, Panic Attacks, Pining Grantaire, Recreational Drug Use, Seinfeld References, Trans Enjolras, Trans Female Character, Trans Male Character, Trans Marius, Vaginal Fingering, Vaginal Sex, Youtuber Grantaire, also very brief, both are very brief, disabled joly, frat party, grantaire has esotropia, grantaire is sad, i needed this a lot, i wont tag jehanparnasse since its BARELY there, jean valjean is a good dad!!!, not a lot though!, thats it, the end is just PURE fluff, youtuber au kind of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-30
Updated: 2020-01-06
Packaged: 2021-02-25 20:55:14
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 15,980
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21621829
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mlmenjolras/pseuds/mlmenjolras
Summary: in which grantaire is a faceless musician on youtube, and enjolras is his biggest fan.
Relationships: Combeferre/Courfeyrac, Cosette Fauchelevent & Enjolras, Cosette Fauchelevent/Marius Pontmercy, Cosette Fauchelevent/Marius Pontmercy/Éponine Thénardier, Cosette Fauchelevent/Éponine Thénardier, Grantaire/Enjolras, Joly/Bossuet Laigle/Musichetta, background feuilly/bahorel
Comments: 13
Kudos: 86





	1. icarus is flying too close to the sun.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> time to start ANOTHER fic and not finish!  
> title is from creep by radiohead, chapter title is from icarus by bastille. both are very exr-core  
> joly has eds. im correct  
> also marius and cosette would have been the BEST wlw story so i decided to do something about it. again, im correct  
> cosette and enjolras are twins! im still correct  
> no betas but hit me up if youd like to beta!

“My friends, I’d like to take a moment before we speak to rave about something,” Enjolras stated, hands planted firmly on the table. The others looked up at him, Bahorel quirking an eyebrow, and Enjolras groaned. They all knew what was coming. “AirMusic’s new song is premiering tonight, and I’m going to scream and cry, holy _shit!_ I’m so excited.” His hands slapped the table a few times, a stim for him, and Jehan jolted at the noise. “I’m just! I’m excited.”

“Is that the one music YouTuber you like?” Maria asked, leaning back in her chair.

“Yes, he’s very talented! The premiere title is just a question mark, so we don’t know what the song is. Like, if it’s original or a cover,” Enjolras hummed as he sat back down, and Courfeyrac gave Grantaire a subtle look. 

See, Grantaire was actually AirMusic. Enjolras had been an avid fan of his channel since high school, but he didn’t know it was Grantaire. And, because it could never be just _one_ thing, Grantaire was crushing on Enjolras. He’d liked Enjolras since the first year of high school, and here they were, in their second year of college. Courfeyrac was the only one who knew this in the friend group, and Grantaire _kind of_ wanted to keep it that way. There was no way Enjolras would ever want him, and there was no doubt that Enjolras would surely be mad if he found out his favourite musician was the feral skeptic he so often debated. 

“Okay. First order of business, the parties we were all invited to tonight. There’s one from Sigma Epsilon, and then the other’s from Lambda Kappa Pi.” The others nodded. “Do we want to do a toga party, or… what the fuck. What is a tight and bright party?” Enjolras looked up, quirking a brow.

“Toga party,” Bahorel piped up, “tight and bright is what kind of clothes you need.”

“Oh, toga definitely. So toga party tonight, we can go get goblets and stuff at 3?” Enjolras raised his brows and the others nodded in agreement. “Okay, we’re meeting at my dorm for that. Next, does anyone have any papers due soon?” Jehan raised their hand. “Okay, what class?”

“Bossuet also has this, it’s in American Lit. Our allegory essay is due Tuesday,” Jehan eyed Bossuet with a quirked eyebrow. Enjolras scribbled that into his calendar, then tapped it into his phone. He would send reminders for due dates, tests, assignments, anything they needed reminders for. Even drinking water and eating a decent meal (that wasn’t just a slice of that gross Kraft sliced cheese between two saltines, _that doesn’t count as a sandwich, just come over and I’ll heat you up some Spaghetti-O’s, Grantaire_ ). “Also, I have a test in astronomy on Wednesday.”

“Okay. Anyone else?” Enjolras added this to his notes, and they all shook their heads. “Jeez, really? Okay. Third order, weekend plans, what are we doing? Is anyone going home? Appointments, anything like that?”

Joly raised his hand. “I have physical therapy tomorrow at noon,” he hummed.

“I’m going home on Sunday to help my dad move Marceau out. I don’t get why he’s back with Virginie, they’re not good together,” Grantaire groaned, rubbing his eyes.

“They’re seriously together again? Jesus Christ,” Courfeyrac sighed. “How long are they gonna last?”

“I give them two months,” Grantaire mumbled. 

“Anyone else have plans?” Enjolras spoke up, and Grantaire smirked at him. “Okay. Who’s designated driver tonight?”

“Combeferre and I can!” Maria hummed. “That should be enough for us all, right?” 

“Yeah,” Enjolras nodded. “So, just a reminder, Sigma Epsilon won’t let us wear tanks and stuff under our togas. Just underclothes. Will that be an issue for anyone?” Once they’d shaken their heads, Enjolras stood. “Okay. I have to get to poli-sci. Don’t be late to your classes.” He tugged on his coat, then headed out the doors of the cafeteria. 

“How long until he figures it out?” Grantaire asked as Enjolras left, gazing at Courfeyrac. 

“I’m waiting for him to notice that you two have the same scar on your hand,” Courfeyrac hummed in response, then looked to Combeferre. “How are you, mon coeur?”

“I’m okay, thank you,” Combeferre smiled as he kissed his boyfriend on the forehead. 

“Nasty,” Jehan sighed jokingly, pulling their hair up into a ponytail. “What hasn’t Enjolras figured out?”

“I’m AirMusic,” Grantaire shrugged as he leaned back. “And it's really funny, ‘cause like, I have a crush on him, and he doesn’t like me, and I guarantee that if he knew he’d hate me forever.” Feuilly snorted. “What?”

“He doesn’t hate you, he wants to sit on your face,” Feuilly shrugged, and Grantaire gaped. “He’s told me before.”

“Well, I mean- what did he say?” Grantaire leaned in, eager. 

“It was after the meeting where Enjolras like, roasted you in front of everyone-“

“That could be literally _any_ meeting,” Joly hummed and leaned back.

“Where Enjolras compared Grantaire to a moth. Which, by the way, he loves moths, don’t worry. Anyway, he and I were getting groceries after because he loves me, and he said he wanted to shut you up in a lot of ways, and I was like ‘how so?’” Feuilly looked down awkwardly as he finished the story. “And he said, uh. He said that your face would make a handsome seat.” Grantaire yelled in laughter for a moment. “I’m not making this shit up!”

“So you’re telling me,” Grantaire wheezed, “that _Apollinaire Enjolras_ told you that he wants to _sit on my face_ ?” He laughed more at the thought of it, Enjolras’ stupid pretty lips admitting that he wanted to sit on Grantaire’s acne-scarred, stubbly face. Was that hot? Yes. Okay, yeah, thinking about it, he’d have a field day later that night with _that_ knowledge. But chaste Enjolras, the boy that flushed over Courfeyrac and Combeferre kissing, who yelled at Grantaire for constantly joking and talking about sexual things, told Alaire Feuilly, the boy that was working himself half to death for Etsy trinkets, that he wanted to sit on Grantaire’s face. Good _god._

“I am!” Feuilly challenged. “You know how close we are, I know literally everything.”

“Has he kissed anyone?” Courfeyrac asked, eyebrows raised. 

Feuilly gave him a look. “Your boyfriend, actually. Graduation. Remember?”

That was right, Enjolras had kissed Combeferre. Cosette and Enjolras’ father, M. Valjean, had wanted pictures with all of their friends, and in one of the pictures, Enjolras had stolen a kiss from sheer excitement. That was the same picture where Maria had jumped into Courfeyrac’s arms, and where Jehan was screaming from laughter over a joke Joly had said. Grantaire knew the picture well. 

“I was his first kiss?” Combeferre asked, adjusting his glasses. 

“Only kiss, actually,” Feuilly corrected. “Unless Grantaire gets his shit together and extends an invite-“

“I have an idea!” Courfeyrac announced, then grabbed Grantaire’s hand and pulled him away. “Tonight,” he’d said as they left the cafeteria. “Okay. Listen.”

“Christ, hang on,” Grantaire grumbled as he dealt with his bag and coat, then walked alongside Courfeyrac. “What?”

“I will give you €50 if you don’t drink any more than Enjolras tonight, and I’ll give you €65 if you talk to him about his craving for you to tell him that the Earth is flat while your mouth’s on his dick,” Courfeyrac stated, and immediately Grantaire’s brain short-circuited. “Deal?”

“Fucking bet,” Grantaire managed, wheezing a bit. “I gotta run. Watercolour is in ten.” Courfeyrac kissed Grantaire on the cheeks, and then he dashed off.

Dear god, was that the hardest course of his _life_. 

He couldn’t stop thinking about the fact that Enjolras wanted to _sit on his face_ , but was that all? Would he want to be fingered and/or fucked? How would he sound? He was half-hard by the time he got home, and he decided he shouldn’t take care of his growing issue. He’d have to face Enjolras in twenty minutes, anyway. He just took a cold shower, shaved, and headed out with his wallet.

Enjolras lived on the same dorm floor as he did, so it didn’t take long. Combeferre and Bahorel had already arrived, and they waved as he entered. “We’re making laurel wreaths!” Feuilly hummed before grinning devilishly. Oh, god _fuck_. Enjolras didn’t look up or offer a wave for a moment, then Feuilly murmured something, and the blonde looked up with a wave. “We’ve decided to make Enjolras a god for tonight, but seeing as you already call him Apollo,” Feuilly bounded over and placed a wreath on Grantaire’s head, “you shouldn’t have much issue.” Oh, he could kill.

“Hey, Feuilly, I like, actually hate you,” Grantaire joked as he adjusted the laurel wreath. “Any news on the toga party? Drink selection? Sigma Epsilon is one of the better frats, they’d better have good booze.”

“I spoke with Montparnasse. There’ll be wine and kegs. And he said they’d bring out more later on in the night,” Enjolras stated, setting a finished wreath on the table. “Joly and Bossuet won’t be coming, by the way. Joly’s having a flare-up.” The others nodded. 

The door flung open, and suddenly the room was three people fuller. “Enjolras, we found your sister!” Courfeyrac laughed out, high on life as usual, “she was-“

“I don’t need to hear what Cosette and Maria do, please and thanks,” Enjolras winced. “Hello.”

“What’re we up to?” Cosette hummed as she came over, resting her head on Enjolras’. “We brought some sheets in case anyone forgot one. And I heard about how you’re gonna be a god for tonight, permission to join?”

“Seems fitting since you’re twins,” Combeferre hummed, “who would she be, Enjolras?”

“Artemis,” Enjolras answered easily. “Apollo and Artemis are twins. Did you bring the makeup stuff?”

“I did!” she grinned, nudging her purse. “Did you like the new video?”

“Oh my god!” Enjolras began grinning and waving his hands in excitement. “It was so good, it was a cover of Creep, but he changed the words, and said it was about someone he likes at his college! It was so good, and I can’t wait for him to show his face…” Grantaire choked on his own spit and began coughing, eyes wide at the implication of a face reveal. _Fuck_ no. Enjolras would be _furious_. “Are you okay, Grantaire?”

“Choking on ghost cock. I’m fine.” Enjolras immediately scolded him for what he said, and the two fell into their normal bickering as the rest of their friends arrived. “This is everyone, right?”

Enjolras looked out across the people in the dorm, then nodded with a hum. “Let’s go goblet-hunting.”

———

This was the bad idea to end all bad ideas.

Oh my god, why had he agreed to this?

The group headed toward the large house, white and gold streamers hanging over the windows, and Grantaire couldn’t stop staring at Enjolras. His sheet was loose enough that he could see the binding tape holding his chest back, and his sheet ended around his mid-thigh, and judging from earlier conversation between Jehan and Enjolras, there wasn’t actually anything underneath that sheet. Jesus Christ.

Grantaire was surprisingly more clothed than Enjolras, and Courfeyrac was unsurprisingly less. Cosette looked as pretty as she always did, and Maria was as flustered as she always was around Cosette. Everyone looked perfect, but they’d be sweaty and fucked up soon. “Guys!” Cosette yelled, and the attention was drawn to her. “Don’t put down your goblets, make sure they’re in front of you at all times!” Caution. Cosette was always careful, she didn’t want anything to happen to any of her friends. Grantaire was thankful for that.

They entered and Enjolras immediately winced at the loud music and flurry of people, and he hurried into the kitchen within a moment. Grantaire followed after him and poured some red into his goblet. “Would you like some?” he asked, and filled Enjolras’ goblet when it was offered. “So this is where you hang out during frat parties?”

“Or outside. Why do you care?” Enjolras took a small sip from his glass, wincing at the taste. He wasn’t a big fan of alcohol, but he’d drink it at parties to avoid conversations. Also, he never got drunk. So, tonight would be hard for Grantaire. “Usually you’re off doing dumb shit with Courf and them.”

“Can’t I have a night of hanging out with our leader, Apollo?” Grantaire teased, earning him a swat on the chest. “I’m being real!”

“So you hang around to torment me more? You already believe in nothing, why not go out there and act like it while putting your life at risk?”

Grantaire’s face softened immediately. “I believe in you, Apollo,” he responded simply, then took a long sip of his drink.

“What do you mean? You only challenge me in meetings for our group.”

“To see you defend your beliefs. You believe in a lot, and I find that admirable, Apollo.” Enjolras blinked in surprise. “Also, you’re cute when you’re worked up. Your nose gets all scrunched up, and you frown a really cute way, and… it’s cute.”

“Shut up,” he mumbled, staring into his cup. “I need a smoke.”

“Didn’t picture you as a smoker,” Grantaire hummed, following Enjolras through the party as he found someone to bum a cigarette off of (they’d said “anything for a god,” and Grantaire wanted to agree in earnest, but Enjolras just found out about Grantaire actually kinda liking him. That was a bit too much, he still didn’t know if he would be eating out a god tonight.), then outside where people were passing bongs around. “You smoke weed too, Apollo?”

“Of course I do, I’m unmedicated for my museum of mental illnesses,” he deadpanned. They found a less-crowded circle and sat down beside each other, Grantaire beside some guy from his graphic design class. They exchanged a nod before he passed the bong to Grantaire. As he inhaled a hit, Enjolras stared up into the stars. “Grantaire, could I go home with you tonight?”

Grantaire coughed out the hit and Graphic Design Boy quickly grabbed the water pipe and lighter from him, and he quickly finished his glass to stop coughing from _that_ experience. “Come again?” he wheezed. 

“I wanna go home with you tonight.” A few ‘ooh’s rose from the circle, and the blonde waved them off. “Oh, quiet.”

“Yeah! Sure! Yeah, uh… yeah,” Grantaire nodded, quickly reclaiming the pipe and taking another hit and _not_ choking on it. “Why?” he asked as he passed the bong to Enjolras.

“I wanted to talk about what you mentioned earlier. Also, because I scheduled for us to clean your dorm tomorrow.” He took a long pull, and blowing it out effortlessly almost a couple seconds later. “So this way, we can start earlier.”

“That works, yeah.” Enjolras nodded as he passed the bong along. “I promised Courf I wouldn’t drink more than you tonight, so I’m not wasted the whole night,” Grantaire stated. “He wanted us to talk about stuff, anyway. So that’s perfect, actually.”

Enjolras knocked back the rest of his goblet with a sigh, looking at Grantaire with a smile. The lights from inside reflected off of the rings in his nose and lip, and the studs on his collar bones that Grantaire _didn’t_ know he had, and now he’s kinda glad he wore boxer briefs under his toga, so his sudden interest in those studs was a bit more contained. “So, do you like this part of the party?” Enjolras hummed, checking his phone. “It’s a lot more calming, don’t you think?”

“Yeah, the guys are probably in there getting completely wasted without me. Courfeyrac probably found some tabs for us.” Enjolras lifted his brows in surprise. “Why do you think half my art looks the way it does?” He nodded. “And Cosette is probably off with Maria, doing their… thing.” Enjolras nodded again, staring ahead. “Are you okay with them? Like, together? You’re her brother and all, I’d expect you have some kind of protectiveness over her.” 

“I mean, I didn’t like her at first.” Grantaire accepted the bong and took a long pull, raising his brows. “She was kinda weird at first, I didn’t like or trust her. And then they started dating, and Jesus I was kinda pissed at first. But also like, Cosette is her own person.” Grantaire nodded as he took another drag. “So now I like her. But I still think she’s weird.”

“Yeah, but she’s Maria, of course she’s a little weird.” Grantaire handed the pipe and lighter to Enjolras. “She’s pretty cool. Courfeyrac says she’s a great roommate, so I’m glad they’re happy living together.” He stared down at his lap for a moment. “Hey, so you really like AirMusic, right?” Enjolras nodded quickly, smoke billowing from his nose. That was hot. Especially with the septum ring. “How would you feel if you knew him?”

“I’d immediately date him,” Enjolras answered before taking a second deep hit. 

“Even if he’s an insufferable little bag of dicks?” Grantaire asked.

Enjolras frowned, exhaling through his nose again. “Why?”

“I’m just curious.” Grantaire looked up. “D’you wanna get out of here after I find the guy with the really good weed? He’s always giving it out at parties, which is very sexy of him.” Enjolras nodded, and the two headed inside quickly. “More wine, Apollo?” Another nod. He filled their goblets with more red, then found the aforementioned giving god, and once both boys had miraculously obtained halves, they were walking to their dorms while openly sipping from their goblets and making idle small talk. “I hope Joly is okay,” he hummed. Enjolras nodded, a high setting in between the both of them, and they downed their cups as they stepped inside their dorm building. “C’mon.” He ran up the steps, the blonde close behind.

Once they’d raced to Grantaire’s dorm, Enjolras tugged him in for a biting momentary kiss. “I want to ride you,” he gasped, and Grantaire’s cock _really_ liked the sound of that. “‘S why I came over. I know what Feuilly said.” He set his goblet on the table. “Is that okay with you?”

“Holy shit _please_ ,” he whined, and he did _not_ mean to sound like that much of a bottom, but he did anyway. He tugged Enjolras to his bedroom, and as soon as the door closed, Enjolras placed his bag on the ground and let his sheet fall, and time stopped. 

He let Enjolras take control, gently communicating to make sure they were on the same page, and their mouths slotted together as Enjolras rode him. Enjolras went bright pink as he came, squirting on Grantaire, and Grantaire followed after him. He exhaled, his breath hot and heavy against Enjolras’ smooth skin, and he pressed gentle kisses wherever he could before Enjolras mustered up the energy to tug him in for a kiss. 

The kiss was softer than the ones shared while Grantaire was inside Enjolras, both of them breathing heavily through their noses against each other, and Grantaire ascended. He gripped blonde locks of hair, freckle-kissed skin, anything to draw Enjolras closer despite still being inside him. The feeling of sitting in their own filth was eventually too much though, and Grantaire sighed heavily. “C’mon Apollo, up,” he mumbled, helping Enjolras off of him as he tied off the condom and threw it away. The sheets were damp, and they were both sweaty and vaguely sticky, and Grantaire couldn’t ignore the feeling in his gut that this wouldn’t last, that they’d clean his dorm together, and Grantaire would forever be the one guy that fucked Enjolras after a frat party. “Hey, so your last name is Enjolras, right?”

“Why are you asking,” Enjolras sighed as he laid on the bed, limbs stretched out like a starfish. 

“Are there multiple Enjolras? Are you just an Enjolran?” Grantaire grinned, his eyebrow raised, and Enjolras stared at him crossly. “Did I anger the Enjolran?”

“Yeah, there’s multiples of me. Cosette. And the one we ate.” He sat up, running a hand through wild, blonde curls, then headed toward the bathroom. 

Grantaire sat there like an idiot for a moment, staring ahead. Then, it clicked, “The fuck do you mean ‘the one we ate,’ Apollo?” he asked, grabbing towels from under the sink as he saw Enjolras warming the shower water. 

“There were three Enjolras, as you say. There were three. Me, Cosette, and the other one. Cosette and I ate the other Enjolran, and now there are two Enjolras,” he explained. “Kinda fucked that we both have two sets of DNA.”

“So like, what if you commit a crime? They could trace it to either of you,” Grantaire mused as he removed his glasses, his bad eye slowly turning inwards as it always did. “Also, does that make you a cannibal? Did you vore your sibling?”

“I am begging you not to ask that question,” Enjolras frowned as he stepped in, towering over Grantaire a bit. “I shouldn’t have entertained that stupid Enjolran joke.”

“Oh, you liked it. Look, you’re smiling.” Grantaire tugged the corners of his mouth until he was smiling very oddly, and Enjolras stuck his tongue out to make it worse. “Oh god. No.” He released the boy’s mouth, then leaned up to press their lips together. “Hi.”

Enjolras smiled, his dimples creasing gently, and Grantaire almost died. “Hi, Luci.” And _that_ killed Grantaire in one blow. He turned and yelled into his hands, and Enjolras gasped. “What?”

“Why the fuck are you so cute?” Grantaire yelled into his hands, and Enjolras fucking _giggled_. “I’m screaming and crying, shut up! You’re baby!”

“I can’t be baby, I have power,” Enjolras responded, and Grantaire turned around. Just as he was about to wash his own dark bunches of curls, he heard the front door open. “Oh god,” Enjolras whispered. 

“R, mon amour!” Courfeyrac called, and _fuck_ Enjolras’ goblet was on the counter. Maybe Grantaire could trick him, he sounded drunk, and his own goblet was in his room. “Are you showering?”

“Yeah,” Grantaire called back, staring at Enjolras in fear. 

“Did you talk to our god about speaking poetry into his cock?” Enjolras laughed softly at Courfeyrac’s words. “What was that?”

Fuck. “What was what? And no, he came over for a bit and then left, he said he’d be back later. He wanted to finish his paper due in a week.” Grantaire was usually good at lying on the spot like this, hopefully it was working. “Is Combeferre here?”

There was a pause. “He’s on his way up.”

“Are you two going to bed, it’s kinda late,” Grantaire gave Enjolras a look.

“Mon ange, I’m 24, drunk, and sexually active, I think we all know how I’m spending tonight!” Cool. Okay. “I’m going to his room! Love you!”

“Love you too, chérie,” Grantaire called back, then gaped at Enjolras. “We passed.” His voice was lowered, so Courfeyrac hopefully wouldn’t hear.

“I’m tired,” Enjolras decided, off topic, but still quiet. He finished washing his own hair, then dried off. “Can I borrow your clothes?” Grantaire hummed and nodded, following suit and checking before sneaking Enjolras down the hall. 

Just as the blonde slunk into his room, a familiar voice said his name. Grantaire turned with a flush. “Combeferre. Your boyfriend’s in your room,” he stated. Combeferre stared at the floor and offered a thumbs up, and Grantaire slid into his room. Enjolras had already found some clothes and socks and was drying his hair with the towel, then he looked up at Grantaire. “I committed tax fraud,” Grantaire stated, causing Courfeyrac to yell ‘same!’ through the wall. 

“Are the walls here this thin?” Enjolras pondered.

“Yeah, tonight’s gonna be hell. We gotta change the sheets, since you squirted on ‘em. That was _hot,_ by the way.” Enjolras looked down with a soft flush. “What?” he asked as he pulled fresh sheets from his small closet. 

“I’ve just never done it before,” Enjolras shrugged, and he busied himself by pulling the dirty sheets off the bed. 

“You’ve never like, squirted?” Grantaire asked, brows raised. 

“I’ve never had sex.”

_Oh._

“You mean I took your virginity?” asked Grantaire, his voice low and cautious. 

“It was what I wanted,” Enjolras frowned. 

Oh, _shit._

“Were you planning on saying anything?” Grantaire tucked the fitted sheet onto the corners of the bed. 

“It’s not that big of a deal to me, really. Virginity is just a way to view someone.” Grantaire shrugged as they flattened the sheets, then replaced the blankets and duvet. A loud moan cut the start of a comfortable silence, and Enjolras stared at the wall. “Ex _cuse_ me.”

Another loud moan. “Yeah,” Grantaire sighed as he slid under the covers. “They do that.” With a soft nod, Enjolras crawled beside Grantaire and nuzzled up. “Hey, Apollo.”

Enjolras pressed a soft kiss to his lips, then hummed. “Hewwo,” he murmured. The both of them groaned at the loud ‘fuck, Combeferre, fuck!’ from the other side of the wall. “You live like this?”

“They don’t always make it to Combeferre’s room,” Grantaire grumbled as he held Enjolras close. They snuggled close through the sounds of Courfeyrac and Combeferre, and eventually drifted off into a deep sleep.

———

When Grantaire awoke, he was alone. Of course. Why would Enjolras want to stick around? He hated Grantaire. He probably never wanted to see him again. Rightfully so, Grantaire was a dick half the time, but still… what if he fucked up last night? He tried to grab his phone but instead flung it to the ground, and he groaned in frustration. The door creaked open after a moment. “Is that the famous AirMusic?” Courfeyrac asked, and Grantaire merely grunted. “What’s wrong, mon amour?” In a few short footsteps Courfeyrac was seated on the bed, gently pulling a half-awake Grantaire into his lap. “You can tell me, I want you to be happy! Your happiness is my priority.”

Grantaire stared down, sighing as he shoved his face into Courfeyrac’s shoulder. “Don’t hide, come here, mon chouchou…” Courfeyrac pressed several kisses into the top of Grantaire’s head, and Grantaire felt tears bubble up and fall from his eyes. “R, please say something, please?”

“Enjolras hates me,” he hiccuped, clinging to Courfeyrac. “I did what you said, I didn’t drink any more than he did, and we _fucked_ , and it was his first time, and he hates me.”

“Hey, hey, back up,” Courfeyrac coaxed Grantaire to look up, and he gently wiped his tears. “Why does Enjolras hate you?”

“Because all we do is argue, and he _should_ hate me, and-“

“Lucien, would Enjolras have slept with someone he hated? He’s only kissed Combeferre, and presumably you,” Courfeyrac pondered a moment. “I think you should tell him that you’re AirMusic.” And _that_ was the wrong thing to say, because Grantaire began wailing into his shoulder and blubbering about how he didn’t want to ruin Enjolras’ favourite music, and the noise made Combeferre run in. “He’s heartbroken, ‘Ferre,” Courfeyrac said, cradling Grantaire in his arms, “he thinks that Enjolras hates him.”

Combeferre soon joined them on the bed, wrapping the two in his arms, and he pressed a kiss to their heads. “R, listen to me, okay?” Grantaire peeked up, focused on Combeferre. “He doesn’t hate you, remember what Feuilly said?”

“Yeah, he sat on my face, and the transaction is done!” Grantaire said, wiping his eyes, “he was supposed to help me clean the dorm today and he left!” Grantaire’s phone buzzed from the ground, and Combeferre leaned away so he could grab it. “What is it?”

“Instagram notification, Cosette tagged you in a picture.” Grantaire bit his lip. “There’s a text from Enjolras. Here.” Grantaire grabbed his phone and unlocked it, reading the text.

 **enjolras** 🥺💚

_SORRY FOR LEAVING SO ABRUPTLY, i forgot cosette and i were getting piercings + lunch today! i’ll be over at around one to help clean :]_

Okay. Okay. He didn’t completely hate Grantaire.

_Oh fuck, he was still gonna have to see Enjolras._

Grantaire whined into Courfeyrac’s shoulder and wiped his face again, his tears slowing to a gradual stop. “He’s coming over later, he and Cosette are doing stuff. Piercings. Y’know,” Grantaire croaked. “Do you guys think I have time to make and post a video before he comes over?” The two of them nodded, and Grantaire quickly got to work.

He had a face reveal to make.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [tomblr](http://soupjolras.tumblr.com)  
> maybe i’ll finish this one. we’ll see  
> name guide:  
> enjolras: apollinaire  
> grantaire: lucien  
> courfeyrac: baudouin  
> combeferre: tristan  
> joly: olivier  
> feuilly: alaire  
> bahorel: filibert


	2. one big emotional whirlwind.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> grantaire has a crisis, the boys talk, more parties, a realisation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> title is from cliche by mxmtoon!  
> i still have no betas so if you want to beta read hit me up  
> i wrote this instead of working on my paper for my final  
> and yes i referenced my own tiktok again sorry

Grantaire stared at the camera, his hood up and donning his normal sunglasses and doctors mask that he wore in any videos where his face would be shown. “Hey guys, so, I thought I’d finally get around to this. I’m answering all the questions you guys like asking.” He pulled out his phone, staring down at the tweet replies. “Okay, first one, how old am I? I’m 25, I’m a Scorpio, so that just happened. Pronouns? Any. Go wild. My real name?” He looked up. “Not yet.” He sniffed, then continued to answer questions idly. There were a lot about tech specs, instruments he played, not as many personal ones as he’d anticipated. “Favourite TikTok? Weeb boy. It’s so… It’s a call-out for me _and_ my friends, and… yeah.” He pushed his voice up to try and imitate the boy in the TikTok. “‘Do you have Tumblr? I’d give you mine if I had one. My mom won’t let me.’ That’s literally my best friend in secondary school.” He laughed softly to himself and continued to answer questions.

There was one he’d been saving, though. “This is the last one. Face reveal.” He breathed in and out softly. “This is kind of hard for me, because my crush really likes my music, and I don’t want to ruin it for him. But… hell with it. I was going to tell him eventually.” He slowly pulled his hood down, then unhooked the elastic bands on each side of his mask and drew it down, then finally, his glasses. He was there for the world to see, or, well, his 500k-something subscribers. He was silent for a few moments, alternating between staring down and at the camera, unsure if he wanted to just stop the video and delete the footage and just say fuck it, or if he wanted to power on. 

Well, he might as well try.

“So… surprise,” he finally managed to say, his voice laced with insecurity. “I don’t think I’ll edit this one. Watch it together with my crush. That ought to be interesting. He’s coming over today, actually.” A sigh. “Really hope this doesn’t change anything, Apollo. Bye.” He flicked off the camera, then stared at it. 

Not today.

He deleted the footage, then flopped back on his bed for a moment, hands shaking. 

**To: enjolras 🥺💚**

_hey can u come over like now i’m alone and freaking out really bad_

It wasn’t a lie. His fingers trembled as he put his filming things away, and his phone buzzed with a new message. 

**enjolras 🥺💚**

_yes! i’m in my dorm so one second._

Within a few moments, there were a few soft knocks on the door, and Grantaire stumbled to answer it. “Hey,” said Enjolras, his voice gentle, and the first thing Grantaire noticed was _third eye piercing._ There were two small, metal balls (haha.) between Enjolras’ brows, catching in the light with his lip ring and septum ring, and he was so pretty, and if Grantaire wasn’t as dehydrated as he was he probably would’ve cried again. Once in 24 hours was more than enough for his unhealthy little body. “Grantaire, what’s wrong?” he asked, holding his face gently. 

“Your face, you got pierced,” Grantaire managed. Enjolras frowned slightly. “That’s not it. I’m upset.”

“Why? Come here, c’mon,” Enjolras said softly, trying to lead him to his room. Fuck, he still had his filming stuff out, he couldn’t let Enjolras in! He didn’t budge, standing his ground. “What?” Enjolras looked exhausted. A pang of guilt flashed through Grantaire’s nerves, and he bit his lip. “Grantaire, R, please use your-“

“I need to talk to Maria,” he blurted. Enjolras quirked an eyebrow. “It’s important, it’s- class stuff, since we both take the same, uh, math course.”

“Neither of you are taking math,” Enjolras said, monotone.

“Either way this is now an Enjolras-free zone and I gotta clear you out!” Grantaire said quickly as he gently lifted Enjolras from the waist. He may have been quite a few inches shorter, but he was a great deal stronger, and Enjolras thrashing and yelling wasn’t stopping him from depositing the blonde back into his dorm. “Thank you for choosing the R Express for all your travel needs, have a fabulous day!” Grantaire said before running back, locking the door, and texting Maria. 

**To: maria**

_hey i need your humble lesbian opinion_

_it has to do with enjolras_

**maria**

_What?_

**To: maria**

_i need your advive_

_advoce_

_asvice_

_i am illiterate._

**maria**

_Oh we all know that trust me_

**To: maria**

_HEY >:( _

**maria**

_I’m coming to your dorm okay?_

**To: maria**

_yes queen_

**maria**

_UwU_

**To: maria**

_OwO_

Maria had been let in a minute later, and Grantaire busied himself with making bowls of cereal. They might not have had a whole lot of food left right now, but they had cereal and milk. That qualified as a meal. “So why did you need, and I quote… my humble lesbian opinion?” Maria asked from the table, lightly tapping her nails on the surface.

“I mean, you’re dating Cosette. You know how one of them works,” Grantaire said, bringing over the bowls of Frosted Flakes with some spoons. “I like the other one, and I have no clue how he works.”

“So you needed my humble lesbian opinion… for her brother?” Maria asked slowly, taking a bite of cereal. 

“They’re twins,” Grantaire corrected. 

“That doesn’t mean they’re the same person, though. Cosette and Enjolras are two _very_ different people, in case you haven’t noticed,” Maria pointed out, “so I’m not sure why you need _me.”_

“You also _got_ one of them,” Grantaire added.

“Just because I’m dating Cosette doesn’t mean I know how I did it,” Maria replied. “Look, I know it’s kinda hard, but just trust your heart! Okay?”

“Got no heart. Or organs. Or bones,” Grantaire mumbled through a mouthful of cereal, and he sputtered as milk rolled down his chin. “Oh. No. Ew. God no.” Maria laughed softly as Grantaire wiped at his face. “The cereal is biphobic.”

“No, you’re just a mess,” Maria giggled, gently twirling the end of her ponytail.

“You wound me. You fired a shot into my heart.”

“You don’t have a heart, ‘Taire.”

“You shot the one I grew just for you.”

Maria laughed harder, and Grantaire finished off his cereal. “Okay, but seriously, talk to him? You two need to talk about your feelings. That’s important to do first,” she hummed. 

“I don’t have feelings,” Grantaire mumbled.

“Okay, double water,” Maria grinned, and Grantaire groaned in exasperation. “If you guys talk about it, I’ll buy you coffee. Okay?”

“I love how your guys’ solution to get me to do stuff is just bribery,” Grantaire said as he got up, “I’ll think about it. These things take time.”

“Bribery is the only thing that- oh!” Maria looked at her phone, a certain look in her eyes, and Grantaire knew that it meant Cosette had texted. “You know, you could ask Cosette. She wouldn’t tell Enjolras that you like him.” Oh shit, okay. Grantaire moved to text Cosette.

**To: cosette 👼**

_maria said you’d help me get with enjolras_

And soon, Cosette was in the dorm, giving her girlfriend some kisses before claiming her lap as a seat. Grantaire noticed her new piercing, a small stud on her right nostril. It suited her. “So, you like Apollinaire,” she started as Maria played with her curls. “It’s obvious, Grantaire. We all know you like him.” Grantaire’s jaw dropped, and he tried to speak, but Cosette held up a finger to silence him. “Not yet. You heard about his other boyfriend, right? That was absolutely awful to him?”

Grantaire remembered Jérémie, and immediately he felt sick. He _hated_ thinking about what he did to Enjolras, how he’d ruined a lot for him. He was the reason Enjolras had been put off from relationships for years, and Grantaire had ended up getting into a fistfight with him in the parking lot of the theatre where they’d just seen Rocky Horror. It felt refreshing to beat the shit out of the man that hurt who he cared about, especially when Bahorel and Musichetta joined him, and his crooked nose was a trophy that reminded everyone of what would happen if anyone in his group of friends got fucked with. 

“Hey, Grantaire, still with us?” Cosette asked as she placed a gentle hand on Grantaire’s. She had piano hands, as did Enjolras. Curse their stupidly pretty genes. Grantaire nodded, moving to hold her hand, and she laced their fingers. “You’re going to have to take it slow, okay? He’s slowly getting better, but all of us know that recovery isn’t just a linear road.”

“I know that, I’ve been here for him. He doesn’t really take me up, though.” He had though, only once. Grantaire had opened the door to a sniffling Enjolras, immediately taking him in and sitting with him until he was calm. What Jérémie had forced Enjolras into didn’t count toward anything in their minds; as far as Les Amis were concerned, Enjolras was a virgin and had only kissed Combeferre.

Well, now also Grantaire.

And maybe not a virgin anymore. 

But that was beside the point.

“Does he know you’re there for him?” Maria chimed in, rubbing her girlfriend’s back lightly. 

“Yeah, he’s come over once. He typically just talks to Feuilly or Jehan or Courfeyrac about these things, though,” said Grantaire. “He hates me.”

“Oh my _god,_ Grantaire, he _literally doesn’t._ When he talks about you, he gets this- this _smile,_ that only you and that musician give him. You both make him _happy,”_ Cosette said. 

“Funny, because — and you _cannot_ repeat this to him — I’m AirMusic.” Cosette’s jaw dropped. “I’m gonna tell him eventually, just… not yet. Not yet.” Cosette nodded, and Maria took to tying some of her thick curls into space buns on top of her head. “How do you both have so much hair?”

“Extra DNA, extra hair,” Cosette joked, and the two of them exchanged knowing nods. “My twin senses are going off. I’m gonna go check on him. Stay safe, okay?” Grantaire nodded and kissed them both on the hand, and they departed. 

Grantaire wasn’t alone in the dorm, Combeferre and Courfeyrac were watching Disney movies in Combeferre’s room, but now he was lonely. He didn’t want to call Eponine, she just had to drop out to care for all her siblings, she didn’t have time right now. Intruding on Disney dates gave bad vibes, Bahorel and Feuilly were probably together, Jehan wasn’t super close with him, and Musichetta and gang were most likely with Joly at physical therapy. So, he headed to his room to make a video. 

The things about his covers, were that he always changed the lyrics a little. People thought it was intentional, but it was just his literary mind finding ways to poetically yearn without much thought. Hence what he’d done with Creep, as well as a few other covers. Suddenly, he had an idea. 

**To: no sun gods allowed**

_guys at the next party we go to we all need to film clips because i got the coolest idea for a video but i need your guys’ help_

_just like film hanging out with your friends, try to get others to take videos too_

_you get me_

**slutboy supreme**

_oh i LIKE this idea_

**cob**

_you got it boss_

**feuilly**

_that’s really sexy actually_

**To: no sun gods allowed**

_of course it is it’s my idea_

Grantaire grinned as he began arranging instrumentals, mixing his guitars and using his Launchpad for drums, The chords worked in perfect tandem, the drums a steady beat underneath, all that was left was vocals. He labelled the instrumental files on his Macbook, then slunk out as he heard movement in the main room of the dorm. “Would my two special boys like to be my backup vocals in a bit?” Grantaire asked, hands stuffed into his sweatpant pockets. 

“Yes! Are you doing that one song? What is- oh, Marlboro Nights? We heard you playing,” Courfeyrac replied, and Grantaire nodded. “Unbelievably sexy choices, chief. Of course we’ll help.” Combeferre nodded, biting into a protein bar. “Hey, wanna help me bleach Combeferre’s hair? I just need you to hold the bowl and control the music. 

“Yeah, let’s do it,” Grantaire smiled as the three set off to the bathroom, and as the bleach set, they recorded vocals and Grantaire finished the mix. “Cool,” he said quietly, and as someone knocked on the door, the three carted Grantaire’s instruments to Ferre’s room. 

Courfeyrac retired to the bathroom with Combeferre as Grantaire opened the door, looking up at the blonde. “Okay, cleaning?” he asked softly, his eyes barely red. Grantaire could tell he’d cried a bit before he came over, but he didn’t say anything. He just let Enjolras in and watched him beeline to the kitchen. “We’re starting in here!” 

“Gotcha,” Grantaire said, trying to ignore how his heart tried to leap out of his chest as they began working.

Occasionally their hands would touch on accident, and they’d both mumble an apology, but Grantaire felt sparks exploding under his skin at the feeling of his hand against Enjolras’, and he had to look over. He studied Enjolras’ perfect, pale pink lips, his straight, Grecian nose, his icy cold eyes, the soft highlight powder dusted on his cheeks that caught in the light in the most beautiful way imaginable, and _fuck_ he was in deep. “Grantaire,” Enjolras said, snapping Grantaire from his thoughts, “you’re wiping your own hand.” Grantaire looked down to see he had, in fact, been wiping his own hand. He stared down again and went back to wiping the counter. “You know break is coming up soon,” he hummed.

“Yeah,” Grantaire mumbled, rubbing insistently at a spot until it came up. 

“Are you coming home with us? Like, Cosette, Fey, Ferre, Maria, Eponine… you’re more than welcome to. And, you know, Festivus,” Enjolras trailed off. The group celebrated Festivus in place of any religious holidays, due to the group’s mix of beliefs. Cosette and Enjolras were Pagan, their father Christian but welcoming and actually loving, Grantaire had no beliefs, Courfeyrac was Jewish, Joly was Buddhist… the list went on. 

“Yeah, of course I am,” Grantaire smiled softly, eyeing Enjolras before looking back down to wipe at the counter. “About last night, what- what was that for?”

Enjolras sighed, slumping against the counter with his face in his hands. “I don’t know. I don’t really know what I’m feeling right now, at least.” He covered his mouth for a moment, pondering. “I just, I need time to figure out everything. It’s hard.”

“If you don’t want to date yet, or like, even at all, that’s totally okay. Just tell me what you want right now, and we can do whatever you’re most comfortable with until whenever,” said Grantaire, his eyebrows lifted. Enjolras nodded. “What’ll it be, chief?”

“Just friends with benefits for now. I’ll just,” Enjolras bit his lip, “I’ll keep you updated, okay?” Grantaire nodded in response, and the two continued to clean the dorm in partial silence. And if Enjolras kissed Grantaire on the cheek before he left, neither of them said anything.

———

“Alright everyone, planning time,” Enjolras said, standing at the “head” of their cafeteria table. It was a circular table, but Enjolras had deemed his seat the head once they began meeting during their shared free time. “First order, party. Delta Tau Chi is having a John Hughs party? What.”

Courfeyrac messed around on his phone for a moment before looking up. “You dress up like a character from _Ferris Bueller_ or _The Breakfast Club,”_ he answered. “I like that one.”

“Oh, I do too,” Enjolras said, then looked at the other invitation. “And Kappa Lambda Gamma is having a meme party, but we already went to one of those. Then Alpha Tau is having an ABC party.”

“I like ABC parties,” Grantaire piped up, knowing that would provide the music video he wanted. The others nodded in agreement, and Grantaire smiled. “ABC, mon ami?”

“ABC it is. Do we need to buy anything?” Enjolras asked. After a bit of silence, he nodded. “Okay. Next, due dates. On Sunday we’re all having a study session for finals in the library, I scheduled for us to have a meeting room. Does anyone have a paper, or a discussion, anything?”

“I have a discussion in my history class due Sunday,” Bossuet said, and Enjolras jotted that down. “And Jehan and I have to reread our notes for American Lit, we’re doing that tomorrow.”

“Okay,” Enjolras murmured as he typed the reminders into his phone. “Anyone else?”

“Graphic design final’s due Tuesday,” Grantaire said, “I’m almost done with it, but still.” 

“Alright,” Enjolras hummed, and looked up once he’d added Grantaire’s final. “Anyone else? Okay.” He blinked, silent for a moment, before he shook his head. “Weekend plans?”

“Physical therapy,” Joly said. “Saturday at noon. And Musichetta is visiting Saturday, so date night.” Musichetta was attending a different university with Eponine, so the two didn’t see their other friends very often.

“Is ‘Ponine also visiting?” Maria asked, her legs bouncing. Bossuet shook his head, and she deflated. “But she’s coming to our holiday stuff, right?” Enjolras nodded, and she perked back up again.

Grantaire zoned out through the rest of the weekend plans, scratching at his hand until Combeferre gently moved his hand away. “You’re bleeding,” he whispered before fishing an Eevee bandaid from his backpack and sticking it over the scratches. He kissed Grantaire on the bandaid gently. “There you go.”

“Thanks, ‘Ferre,” Grantaire mumbled, then looked back up to Enjolras. “Apollo, what’re the holiday plans this year?”

Enjolras eyed him carefully. “I was just _getting to that,_ R,” he said. “So, I’m driving Courfeyrac, Combeferre, and Grantaire, then Cosette is driving her girlfriends. Is anyone else staying with us?” A few beats of silence. “Okay. So, we have Festivus on the 23rd. Fey, we told Papa that you’ll be celebrating Hanukkah while you’re over, did he text you about that?”

“Yes!” Courfeyrac grinned. “M. Valjean is the best.”

“I know, I love him,” Enjolras smiled faintly, and Grantaire felt his heart stop. Smiles weren’t entirely common for Enjolras, so every smile made Grantaire want to take a picture and keep it forever. “We’re doing other fun stuff at my house over break, I’ll send a calendar to the group chat.” Of course he made a fucking calendar. Grantaire gave Enjolras a look, his eyes lightly batting, and when Enjolras finally looked over, he sighed. “Yes, Grantaire?”

“It’s important to me that you know…” He paused for dramatic effect. “...that I am baby.” Enjolras sighed again, deeper this time, and Grantaire smiled. “Yes, Apollo?”

“I gotta head to class. Don’t be late to anything. We’ll meet at mine before the party.” And with that, Enjolras was gone. 

Grantaire stretched and stood, taking Enjolras’ place at the head. “Reminder for tonight, if you guys could get clips and footage from the party that would be great. And if you could get other people to film on your phones for more variety, that would also be great.” He paused for a moment. “It’s for my next video, by the way.”

“Of course, R,” Jehan smiled, twirling a loose lock of hair. “Can we show our faces?”

“Yes, and if you get any with me, that would be cool. I’m gonna say that I’m in the video, to tease Enjolras and let him know that ‘hey, your favourite musician was at the same party as you, wonder who it is!’” The others nodded, and Grantaire offered caring finger-guns as he also left the cafeteria.

———

_It should have been illegal for Enjolras to look as good as he did in fucking caution tape._

There were strips of yellow caution tape wrapped from under his binding tape to midway down his thighs, and the only consistent wrapping was his makeshift caution tape underwear. And Grantaire was kinda fucking turned on by that.

Of course, he wasn’t the only one dressed scantily, it was a fucking frat party. Cosette and Maria had made dresses from towels, Courfeyrac wore a trash bag duct taped over his lower regions, Bahorel just had a box around his body. Grantaire had cut two holes in a large gift bag and pulled it up to use the ribbons as shoulder straps, so he could get away with actually wearing briefs. 

“Don’t get too drunk tonight, okay?” Combeferre whispered to Grantaire before they walked in, “for Enjolras’ sake.” Grantaire nodded.

“Remember guys! Keep your cups in front of you and in your hand!” Cosette called, then led the group in. She found a friend on the stairs and dragged Maria over, immediately striking up a conversation. 

Enjolras, however, headed to the back. Grantaire followed after. “Wine?” he hummed, and with permission, poured some wine into solo cups for the two of them. “Weed circles again?”

“Not yet,” Enjolras sighed as he went to the back deck, then pulled a cigarette from behind his ear. Grantaire hadn’t noticed that. “Can you find me a lighter?” Grantaire nodded and headed off, eventually returning with a lighter, and Enjolras lit his cigarette. “Thanks,” he sighed as he stared down, slowly inhaling. 

Grantaire leaned over the deck beside him once he returned the lighter, staring out at everyone. “Are you doing alright?” he asked, just loud enough for Enjolras to hear.

“Yeah, why?” The blonde looked over with a lifted brow.

“Just checking.” Grantaire took a swig from his cup. “Are we all staying at your house? Like, I know Maria and-“

“You are,” Enjolras interrupted. “Papa knows. Fey and Ferre are for a few nights, and then we’re having a group sleepover after Festivus.” Grantaire hummed, and Enjolras paused to take a slow drag from his cigarette. “How’s your graphic design final been going?”

As Grantaire moved to answer, Feuilly came bursting out, obviously filming. He looked over at the two and pointed, and Grantaire crossed his eyes and stuck his tongue out as Enjolras quirked a brow. “Picture!” Feuilly said, and Enjolras finally stubbed and flicked his cigarette, then beamed. _Oh, Grantaire wasn’t ready to edit that,_ he could _feel_ the sunlight radiating from Enjolras, he was _so fucking pretty_ and Grantaire felt like a little feral hobo in his giftbag. “Thank you!” Feuilly called as he dashed back inside. 

“What was that?” Enjolras asked once he was inside. With a shrug, Grantaire followed him to a small circle and sat down.

The two men were bored after about five hits, so they slowly wandered back inside, Enjolras covering his ears lightly. They’d both finished their wine and thrown away their cups, so they didn’t have to worry about anything. “Gran- _taire!”_ someone yelled, and Grantaire whipped around to see Courfeyrac stumble into his arms, Combeferre behind him. He noticed someone filming nearby, seeing Joly’s phone case glisten under the lights. “Hi,” Courfeyrac giggled. Grantaire could faintly smell alcohol on his breath. “I love you.”

“I love you too, mon chou,” Grantaire hummed before planting a kiss on his lips. “You’re a bit drunk.”

“I mean...” Courfeyrac gave him another kiss, then straightened up. “Only a little! I’ve only had two drinks.” Combeferre nodded in agreement. “I’m just very happy to be here! It’s fun.”

“Yeah,” Enjolras agreed, rubbing his neck. “I kinda want to leave, though. It’s overwhelming.”

Grantaire knew what that meant. He gave Courfeyrac and Combeferre cheek kisses, Enjolras mimicked his action, and they left the party, hearts pounding in tandem as they left. “I’m cold,” Enjolras frowned. 

“Wonder why,” Grantaire replied, looking up to the sky. Faint snowflakes fell around them. “Let’s get back to the dorms, do you want me to drop you back at yours?”

“I want to come to yours.” Grantaire sucked in a breath and nodded. “Let’s go.” The two hurried back, and if Grantaire accidentally left some marks on his neck, neither of them said anything.

He laid next to Enjolras, the blonde asleep and half naked, staring up at the ceiling. His heart pounded as Enjolras nuzzled closer, warm, slow breaths gently fanning across his skin, and oh _fuck_ he could feel his emotions running wild with the guy he liked right there, so close he could lean down and _kiss_ him, he _had_ kissed him several times, evident by how swollen his pouty lips were. 

He was in love.

Oh, _fuck._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [tungle](http://soupjolras.tumblr.com)  
> i’m not jewish or buddhist but i’m trying to educate myself, so if i say something incorrect about courfeyrac or joly PLEASE let me know and i’ll make any necessary changes! i’m only confident in my knowledge of xmas, festivus, and yule  
> name guide:  
> enjolras: apollinaire  
> grantaire: lucien  
> courfeyrac: baudouin  
> combeferre: tristan  
> joly: olivier  
> feuilly: alaire  
> bahorel: filibert


	3. we should just kiss like real people do.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> les amis head home for the holidays, chaos ensues. explicit sex at the end of the chapter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> title is from like real people do by hozier!  
> STILL NO BETAS and if you’d like to beta let me know!  
> chapter four is planned for xmas eve so that’s sexy

Maybe spending seven hours in the car alone with your friend isn’t the best thing to do after realising you’re in love with them.

Grantaire had the premiere for his cover set for tonight, an early Yule gift for Enjolras. He didn’t really know how Pagan traditions worked, he just listened to what Cosette and Enjolras said and tried his best to participate, like with his other friends. Sure, maybe Enjolras still didn’t know he was AirMusic, but like… y’know. 

But here he sat, in the passenger seat of his car, listening to the playlist Enjolras had made: “music to knit a boyfriend to,” which was mostly his own music, as well as some other bops. Courfeyrac and Combeferre had mysteriously said they would drive down later, and Grantaire knew what they were doing. He didn’t like it. “I think I just realised something,” Enjolras finally spoke up, about an hour into the drive, and Grantaire hummed to acknowledge him. “We haven’t done things like this. Like, I’ve done road trips with some of the others, hell, Courfeyrac and Jehan and I flew to England for a few weeks. But you and I haven’t done anything.” Grantaire nodded softly. “Oh, are you fine with sharing a bed with me?”

“My guy, we’ve shared a bed a billion and one times,” Grantaire said, looking out the window. “Tired.”

“Then sleep, you’re a passenger.” He thought for a moment, reclined the passenger seat, and let himself drift off. 

_ “Hey!” Grantaire was suddenly back in high school, wearing his old Miku shirt and too-tight blue jeans, and before he got glasses to correct his esotropia, so of course he was the perfect victim to bully. He flinched as the person approached, waiting for them to begin ridiculing, but it never came. “I’m new.” He looked up. They had long blonde curls that flowed over their shoulders and down their chest, an icy blue gaze, and a billion freckles splattered across their face. “You know how to get around here, right?” Grantaire nodded quickly. “Do you have a friend group my sister and I can eat with?” _

_ “Uh,” Grantaire managed out, trying to process what the fuck just happened.  _

_ “Yes or no?” they demanded. _

_ “Yes?” Grantaire straightened up, his eyebrows furrowed. “What’s your name?” The blonde stopped, raising a brow. “I’m Lucien. My friends and I hate first names, though, so we all call each other by our last names. So, Grantaire if you’re gonna eat with us.” _

_ “Enjolras,” the blonde — Enjolras — finally said. _

_ “We have two girls in my group, their names are Maria and Eponine, ‘cause they’re not fans of the last name stuff. Neither is Jehan.” _

_ “My sister might not like it, we’ll see though.” Enjolras paused for a moment. “Her name’s Cosette Fauchelevent. We’re twins but- oh, I won’t tell you. I’ve just met you,” they frowned. _

_ Grantaire shrugged. “That’s fine. By the way, uh, are you like…” He scrunched his face up. “Uh. I like your shoelaces.” _

_ Enjolras smiled lightly and Jesus fucking  _ Christ, _ their smile was so bright and beautiful and perfect even if it was just the shell of one, Grantaire couldn’t fucking take this. “Thanks, I stole them from the president,” they answered. “Are you guys okay with, uh…” They lowered their voice. “Gay people?” Grantaire blinked and pointed to the little bi pride pin on his shirt. “Oh! I’m-“ _

A sudden bump roused Grantaire from his sleep and he screamed, not meaning to, as he jolted up. Immediately Enjolras pulled off to the side of the road and parked, his grip on the steering wheel tight and tremoring. His whole body shook violently, and Grantaire realised what was happening: either a panic attack or a sensory overload. 

Fuck.

Okay.

He could do this.

He started by turning off the music, then he blinked. “Hey, can I touch you?” he asked, and once Enjolras gave him a shaky nod, he unbuckled their seatbelts and led Enjolras away from the steering wheel. “Overload?” A head shake. “Panic?” Rapid nodding. Okay. “I’m gonna lean back and get Jay, then we’re gonna breathe.” Enjolras nodded again, and Grantaire reached back to grab the small stuffed dog from on top of his red suitcase. He calmed Enjolras down, holding him cautiously in his arms and rocking him despite the awkward angle, and Grantaire pressed a gentle kiss to the top of his head. “Verbal?” Enjolras bit the inside of his cheek and shook his head, and he received another head kiss. “That’s okay. You don’t have to be, it’s all good. Can I drive?” He took a moment to ponder before nodding, and as Grantaire ran around to the other side of the car, Enjolras simply climbed over the console. Soon they were back on their way again, Enjolras laying down and listening to his music as Grantaire drove along in silence. 

Enjolras must have fallen asleep at some point during the drive, because he frowned out the window when he sat up. “Hey, how’re we feelin’?” Grantaire asked, turning the music down a few notches. Enjolras groaned and rubbed his eyes. “We’re almost to your house, and we can see your birds and cat, and some of our friends, and you’ll be back in your room, and it’ll be lit.” He smiled faintly, looking up at Grantaire. “Hey, Apollo,” he murmured. 

“Tired,” Enjolras mumbled. He still looked sleepy; Grantaire understood that. Panic attacks were draining, even more for Enjolras. 

“You can sleep until we get to your house, then.” Grantaire thought for a moment. “Hey, do you wanna watch the new AirMusic video tonight?” Enjolras nodded, and he smiled. “Cool. Let’s fuckin’ do it.” 

Enjolras soon fell asleep again, waking once the car was parked in the driveway and Grantaire was gently rubbing his shoulder. “We’re here,” he said, watching Enjolras straighten his seat up and crack his back. “Do we want to get our shit now or later?”

Enjolras rubbed his eyes for a moment. “Later. I want to see my babies. And Papa.” He pulled his keys from the ignition and slid out of the car. Grantaire followed him inside and beelined to the large cage in the main room, watching the birds inside. Cosette and Enjolras had three budgies: Mister, Brightside, and Robespierre. Telling who named each bird was a bit obvious. M. Valjean had been kind enough to take care of them through the semester. Grantaire peered into the cage until Enjolras opened it, then let Mister step up onto his finger. “A boy and a friend,” Enjolras hummed, watching Mister fly to sit on Grantaire’s shoulder. “He still likes you. I’ll be back.”

Grantaire watched Enjolras walk off to find M. Valjean, and he decided to bring out the other two budgies to love on. He rubbed them all on their backs, their heads, wherever he knew they liked as he almost teared up over how cute they were. “I saw those marks,” a familiar voice said, and Grantaire nearly jumped. “Did you two get together?” Cosette asked, her hair back in a thick braid.

“No, we’re- we’re not together. Just, uh,  _ sleeping _ together,” Grantaire answered sheepishly. 

“If you didn’t have birds on you, I’d probably go for your throat,” she sighed, “you two were alone in the car for how many hours? And you didn’t talk about it?” 

“He had a panic attack an hour in, then slept while I drove the rest of the way,” Grantaire said, and Cosette’s face shifted to immediate worry. “He’s feeling better now, I think.” He let the budgies back into their cage, then closed the small, metal door. “Just tired. He’s looking for M. Valjean. Is Eponine here?”

“She has to do stuff for Azelma and Gavroche first,” Cosette said, absentmindedly playing with her fingers, “you  _ need to talk to him, _ Grantaire. You can’t just keep this bottled up.”

“I can, and I kinda w-“

“Think about him.” Grantaire stopped, frowning at Cosette’s words. “Think about Apollinaire.” She stepped forward and grabbed his face, then pulled him down and kissed him on the forehead. “Talk to him. You two are both dumb about your feelings, you need to get on the same page.” Grantaire slowly sighed with a nod, and Cosette kissed his forehead again. “You’ve got this.”

He didn’t got this. 

Grantaire stumbled through the house, eventually finding Enjolras and M. Valjean in the study, and he waved a bit. “Lucien,” Valjean greeted with a smile, waving back as Enjolras turned and  _ oh _ he looked so pretty, Grantaire wanted to burst into tears right then and there. “Apollinaire was just telling me about how you all have been doing, and he mentioned that you had a final in your art class that he thought was nice?” Valjean looked to Enjolras. 

“Your watercolour final,” Enjolras elaborated, “it was really pretty.”

Grantaire nodded and moved closer, swiping through the memes on his camera roll until he finally found it. “It’s, uh, it’s En- Apollinaire, with some flowers and stuff. And a Minecraft bee. The teacher liked that little touch.” He cleared his throat and looked away as the two studied the painting on his phone, and he felt Valjean zoom in on it and mumble a soft ‘wow.’ Enjolras looked up with a surprised frown, and Grantaire raised his brows. “Yes?”

“The hell you mean that’s me?” Enjolras asked, and was immediately tutted for his language. “Sorry. But that- that doesn’t even  _ look _ like me, it’s so  _ ethereal _ and-“

_ “Pay attention to detail,” _ Grantaire winked, “look. There’s your lip freckle, and the scar on your jaw, and all your piercings. But they’re gold instead of silver. And I didn’t add the new one, since you got it when I was almost done.”

Enjolras blinked a few times, then straightened up. “Lucien, do you need a drink?” he asked, and with a nod, the two hurried from the study. “What the fuck?!” he half-yelled once they were out of earshot, “you painted me for your final?”

“If you actually don’t like it, I’ll throw it out once I get it back and won’t do it again,” Grantaire said.

“I don’t mind that you did it, but! How is that me?! Bring it up again.” He frowned, almost  _ pouted, _ and  _ fuck _ he was so cute when he was flustered. Grantaire unlocked his phone and Enjolras peered at it with a now-full pout. The piercings were all correct, his lip freckle and jaw scar were in the right places, there was even the corner of his binding tape at the bottom edge of the painting, and sure enough, that was Enjolras. His hair seemed more golden and his eyes a brighter blue, but it was unmistakably him, now that he was paying attention. “I can’t believe this. I can’t believe I didn’t notice,” he laughed softly, and he gently rubbed his eyes. “Your work always amazes me, R.”

“Anything might be amazing if you have a nice subject,” Grantaire flirted, his lips gently curling up, and Enjolras frowned lightly. “I can’t compliment you but you can sit on my dick?”

“Oh, shut,” Enjolras gritted out, now flustered from Grantaire’s words. Score. “Cosette knows. She saw the marks.” His voice was quieter as he spoke again, and Grantaire let his energy match the mood. “She said we need to talk.”

Grantaire folded his hands on top of his head, sighing. “I know, she already threatened my life. But I’m… are you ready to have this conversation?”

“No,” Enjolras admitted, running his hands through his curls. “I want to eventually, but not yet. I told you that.”

“I know you did,” Grantaire said, “you don’t have to have it figured out now. And you don’t have to be ready for a relationship.” Enjolras nodded, and Grantaire swept him into a hug. “It’s okay. You’re okay.”

“Eponine, Azelma, and Musichetta are here!” Cosette called from the living room, and immediately the two of them dashed into the main room to see Maria and Eponine connected in a deep kiss. Azelma offered a wave, her hand wrapped in gauze, and Grantaire flashed a peace sign in answering. 

When Eponine finally pulled back from the kiss, she bounded over and jumped into Grantaire’s arms. “Missed you, thot,” she hummed, giving him a quick kiss on the lips, “sorry for not texting much. Stuff.”

“You’re good. How’s Gavroche and the boys?” Grantaire asked, holding her close. She was a good deal taller than Grantaire, she was even taller than Enjolras, but that didn’t stop Grantaire from carrying her. 

“A lot better now. And now that I’ve got ‘Zelma, we’re all good.” She leaned in to whisper in his ear. “Something happened with her hand, and she won’t talk about it, so she’s mine now. We don’t need Louis and Jolene fucking her up.” Grantaire nodded and pressed a kiss to her cheek. “Anyway!” she yelled as she hopped out of his arms, “I missed my beautiful girlfriends. I’m entitled to snuggle compensation, and later tonight I expect similar repayment from the bastard man.”

Grantaire winked as the three women dashed up the stairs, leaving Azelma and Musichetta still standing there. Azelma looked about, biting her lip, until Enjolras cleared his throat. “Do either of you need a drink? Snacks? Papa said he’d make lunch once everyone else arrived,” he said. 

Azelma followed Enjolras into the kitchen, and Musichetta offered Grantaire a smile. “I heard about your thing for him,” she said, coming closer. “You’re taking it at your own pace?”

“Yeah,” Grantaire said as he popped his knuckles, coming closer to her. “Cosette wants us together now, but Enjolras isn’t ready. I’m just following with whatever he says.” Musichetta nodded in approval. “Like, I get that she wants him to be happy, but like,” he sucks on his lower lip, “he’s not… he’s not coping. I’m more than happy to help where I can, but he knows he’s not in the right mental place for a relationship. And I respect that.”

Musichetta clapped him on the shoulder. “Then that’s okay. You two are communicating! That’s healthy and good.” She beamed at him, then checked her phone. “Bossuet wants me to come help, I’ll be back.” She headed out the door, Grantaire watching her idly. 

“Joly and Bossuet are here!” Grantaire called.

“So are Jehan, Courfeyrac, and Combeferre. Those three rode together,” Enjolras responded, his head poking out of the kitchen. “Can you go see if Chester’s in my room? And bring him down if he is.” Chester was the family’s snowshoe ragdoll cat, with blue, crossed eyes and a lack of real caring as to what was happening. “Please.”

“You got it, chief,” Grantaire said before heading up the stairs, then down the hall into Enjolras’ room. He had forgotten the baby yellow walls, soft brown carpet, the big bed, and there was Chester, curled up on the bed, asleep. Grantaire gently rubbed Chester between the ears, earning a soft  _ prrp _ as the cat awoke. “Hey, bub,” Grantaire smiled as Chester stretched, his paws flexing as he yawned, “big stretch! Did you miss me?” Chester stood and stretched his back legs, then allowed Grantaire to pick him up and cradle him in his arms. “Let’s go see Apollo,” he murmured before kissing his fuzzy head, then he carried Chester down as Courfeyrac walked in. “Baby alert!” he called, mindful of Chester’s ears, and he heard Courfeyrac following behind.

Enjolras immediately brightened with the widest smile he’d seen in  _ months _ and  _ god _ he was so fucking  _ pretty, _ he could’ve said  _ anything _ with that smile and Grantaire would’ve worshiped at his feet. “Chester!” he grinned as Grantaire transferred the big boy into his arms, and he cradled his cat. “Hey baby, I missed you so much…” He kissed his head a few times, rocking Chester, then he noticed the guest. “Hey, uh, I’ll tell Papa-“

“Baudouin!” said Valjean as he emerged from the study, startling everyone and causing Azelma to grab onto Grantaire’s hoodie. He wordlessly offered a hand, which she took and squeezed. “Come with me, I wanted to make sure this was all set up right for the nights you’ll be here?” Courfeyrac nodded with a hum before following behind M. Valjean. “Tristan, your hair looks nice!” Grantaire heard him say from the living room. 

“You good?” Grantaire tentatively asked Azelma. 

“Yeah! Sorry,” Azelma smiled.

“Nah, it’s okay. Don’t worry about it,” he smiled in return. Azelma wandered away to the living room, and Grantaire moved to cup Enjolras’ cheek. “Kiss?” Enjolras placed a soft kiss on his lips in answering. “How are you feeling?”

“Better, thank you,” Enjolras said with a tiny smile. “Another kiss?” Grantaire hummed, then tilted Enjolras’ head down for another chaste kiss. “Thank you, Luci.”

“I’m baby! No!” Grantaire said, a blush creeping to his cheeks. Enjolras let Chester down and took Grantaire into his arms, holding him lightly, and Grantaire held onto Enjolras’ hoodie. “You’re comfy.” Enjolras hummed lightly, kissing his head, and Grantaire looked up to steal one last kiss. “Thank you. C’mon. They’ll get suspicious and Cosette will get on us again.”

Enjolras followed Grantaire into the main room and took a seat by Feuilly on the couch, Grantaire joining him. “So everyone’s here?” Enjolras asked, picking up Chester from the ground and rubbing his head. 

“Yeah. Feuilly and I were the last to get here,” Bahorel responded, stretched out on the arm of the sofa. “Y’know.” Feuilly looked down, flushing bright red, and Grantaire exchanged a nod with Bahorel. 

Eponine bounded down the stairs with her girlfriends and immediately draped herself across Grantaire’s lap, and he wound his arms around her waist. “Lunch?” she asked, “I want nachos. But like, the lazy white people kind. Where you just dump shredded cheese on tortilla chips and microwave it and call it a day.”

“Well, Papa’s cooking for us, he was going to start once everyone arrived,” Enjolras said, humming as Chester crawled to put his big paws on Enjolras’ shoulder. “Hey, baby. He’s making grilled cheese, I think? The American way. But also we can put stuff on it, he said.”

“Grilled cheese? Isn’t Courfeyrac lactose intolerant?” Maria frowned.

“Yeah,” Courfeyrac smiled simply, and that was that. 

Cosette tied Maria’s hair into a messy bun, then pressed a kiss to her lips. “What’s the plan for tonight?” Cosette asked, playing with loose strands of hair at the base of Maria’s neck. “Like, I know everyone’s staying here tonight, but what are we doing?”

“Fire pit and chill is what I planned,” Enjolras said, “and then we can all just do whatever we want until we’re ready to sleep.” Cosette nodded in agreement. 

“I want fuit gummy,” Grantaire frowned.

“I want fuit gummy!” Courfeyrac agreed, and soon the group had dissolved into talk of wanting fuit gummy until lunch.

———

It was well past four in the morning, and most of the house was asleep as Grantaire followed Enjolras upstairs to his room. “We have to be quiet,” Enjolras said, his voice low as he shut his door and wrestled his shirt off. “Can you turn the light on?”

Grantaire flicked the light on, squinting in the sudden brightness as he dealt with wiggling out of his own clothes. “We can play music to cover it,” he suggested. “I have a playlist we can use.” Enjolras nodded as he laid on the bed, wearing nothing but his boxer briefs, and Grantaire connected to the Bluetooth speaker in his room. King for a Day by Green Day began to play from the speaker, and Enjolras sighed. “Gotta be inconspicuous,” Grantaire smiled.

“You’re gonna kill my boner,” Enjolras pouted as Grantaire settled on top of him, and he pulled Grantaire into a heated kiss. A hand slipped down his chest and into his boxers, gently circling his clit, and he gasped into Grantaire’s mouth. “I don’t have condoms,” he whispered as he pulled back. 

“There’s some in my bag, it’s fine,” Grantaire said, then stumbled to his bag to retrieve a condom. He quickly returned and began sucking a mark into Enjolras’ neck, resuming circling his finger against his clit, and Enjolras shuddered with a moan. “Fuck, so good for me…”

He slipped two fingers into Enjolras as the song faded into Ocean Man, and Enjolras let out a mix of an exasperated and desperate moan. “Really?” he asked, breath hitching as Grantaire pumped his fingers. “Fuck, like that- you feel so good, Grantaire…” Grantaire smirked and tugged his boxers off, settling between his legs and giving him a broad lick. “Fuck!”

“Hey, gotta be quiet,” Grantaire chided, pulling back slightly, “can’t let anyone hear.”

“Then just fuck me, I’m ready,” Enjolras frowned before gasping as Grantaire suckled on his clit, and he threw a hand over his mouth. “Grantaire, please fuck me,  _ please…”  _

Grantaire couldn’t take it any longer, not with Enjolras begging like this. He sat back on his knees, tugging his briefs down enough to free his cock, and he rolled the condom over his length. Without much warning, he slid into Enjolras, the two of them moaning quietly. “So fucking tight,” Grantaire whispered into his ear, and Ocean Man faded to Africa by Toto. Enjolras gave Grantaire a frown, and Grantaire grinned down at him before pressing a kiss to the bridge of his freckle-covered nose. “Do you still want to do this?” he asked, his voice gentle. 

“Yeah,” Enjolras said, “I just really wish we could listen to  _ anything _ else.”

“Just tune it out,” Grantaire whispered, giving an experimental hip roll, and Enjolras gasped. “See?”

“Please just fuck me already,” Enjolras whined, bucking his hips. Grantaire hummed, the sound low in his throat, and obliged with a sharp thrust. “Just like that, fuck.”

Grantaire hiked Enjolras’ long legs up and continued his quick pace, biting at the space behind his ear as Enjolras scratched up his back. He was whining, spouting profanities, praising, everything his half-coherent mind could think of, and Grantaire was basking in it.  _ He _ was the one making Enjolras feel this good.  _ He _ was the one able to take him apart like this, to give him such intimate pleasure, to  _ wreck him _ in such a delicious way. He watched Enjolras’ face as his hips slammed into him harder, taking in the perfect O-shape his mouth formed, how his brows furrowed and his eyes were just lightly shut, how his whole face was a bright pink, and he could feel himself already getting close.

He reached down between them and pressed his middle finger to Enjolras’ clit, rubbing him the way he knew Enjolras liked, and Enjolras’ back arched up.  _ “Grantaire!” _ he yelled out, gripping at his dark curls and  _ yanking, _ and Grantaire almost came from that alone. Enjolras’ thighs tightened around his waist, trapping him as they came in quick succession, Enjolras crying out Grantaire’s name. Grantaire was panting, rolling his hips to ride his high out, and he slowly registered that at some point the song had faded into Fifteen Minutes by Mike Krol. “Christ,” Enjolras mumbled, “that was good.”

“Thank you, I try,” Grantaire joked as he pulled out and threw away the used condom. “Shower?”

“Wait! Shit, I missed the premiere for AirMusic’s video… do you wanna watch it real quick?”

Shit.

He forgot about the premiere. 

Fuck.

“Yeah, sure,” he hummed as he turned off the music from his phone and settled down beside Enjolras, pressing a few gentle kisses to his cheek, and the two of them quietly started the video. 

It took a few seconds for Enjolras to realise, but he gasped. “That was the party we were at!” he said, his free hand waving excitedly. “Holy shit, there’s us! And Courfeyrac and Combeferre! And Cosette-“ His socked feet kicked excitedly, and Grantaire laughed softly in amusement. “We’re in the video!  _ AirMusic goes to school with us!!” _

“Fuck, he sure does,” Grantaire smiled, idly playing with Enjolras’ soft curls. 

The video ended and Enjolras read the ending note:  **_I SHOWED MY FACE IN THIS VIDEO!_ ** He gaped at Grantaire and his hands began waving again, humming in excitement as he replayed it. Grantaire held his phone steady so Enjolras could stim, and they rewatched the video. “Grantaire they’re in the video, face reveal-“ he managed out, pointing at the screen.

“I know, that’s so cool!” Grantaire said, unable to hide his smile at Enjolras’ happiness. “Maybe they’ll do a proper face reveal soon.” He blinked a few times, and an idea formed in his head.

He knew exactly what he was going to do for this. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [tumblr](http://soupjolras.tumblr.com)  
> i’m soft ok  
> also the playlist enjolras had on in the car is real! listen [here!](https://open.spotify.com/user/lunaregem/playlist/610GPlLLHLahh0HIgjzwzT?si=uKBNCil3Q8i5JXLPzeKZ-g)  
> name guide:  
> enjolras: apollinaire  
> grantaire: lucien  
> courfeyrac: baudouin  
> combeferre: tristan  
> joly: olivier  
> feuilly: alaire  
> bahorel: filibert  
> lesgle: florence


	4. waiting for the hint of a spark

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the au comes to an end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter title is from i will follow you into the dark by death cab for cutie  
> sorry this is so late i couldn’t write for a minute but now we’re good and it’s done! i’ve got more fics planned and half-started so let’s see what happens

The face reveal was going up today.

Grantaire had insisted that he wanted to “try his hand at vlogging” on Festivus, and Enjolras was none the wiser throughout the day as he filmed their antics. He stayed up all night editing the footage, Combeferre and Courfeyrac kindly helping him, and the video was set to premiere at six with a simple title: “it is i.” And of course Enjolras was excited when he got the notification, his hands flapping as he hummed happily. Grantaire just smiled and rubbed his arm, knowing that he’d most likely get upset and turn him away when he watched the video. Enjolras didn’t like him. He annoyed Enjolras. He was only here because he was good in bed, that was it. They weren’t a couple. 

“New video soon!” Enjolras said as he bounded down the stairs and into the main room where Cosette and her girlfriends were helping Valjean decorate the tree. “Live tree?”

Cosette nodded, and Enjolras and Grantaire made their way over to help. “AirMusic?” Cosette asked casually. Enjolras nodded, his hands flapping. “Heck yeah.” She gave Grantaire a knowing look, her brows raised, and he nodded with a small smile. “We’re having takeaway for lunch, by the way. From the Chinese place nearby? Yeah.” They both hummed in response. Grantaire felt his phone buzz, and he checked it quietly as he handed Enjolras an ornament. 

**epoqueen 🥵**

_ nice hickeys bottom _

Grantaire gaped at her, and she laughed before continuing to help decorate. 

Decorating and lunch seemed to fly by, and the two had time to go at it before the premiere, and as they laid in bed, naked and panting, the notification popped up. 

**_AirMusic premiering now: it is i_ **

Enjolras waved his hands as Grantaire clicked the notification for him, and he bit his lip as the video started. “That’s-“ Enjolras blinked rapidly, his mouth hanging open at the intro. 

It was Courfeyrac and Combeferre, a video taken while they were editing. “What time is it?” Grantaire asked.

“Two in the morning,” Combeferre said.

“And what are we doing?” he asked.

“Editing!” Courfeyrac cheered.

_ “That’s in my house Grantaire AirMusic was in-“ _ Enjolras stopped short, his brain suddenly connecting everything, and Grantaire bit his lip as Enjolras paused the video. “Lucien René Grantaire.”

“Please don’t be mad at me,” Grantaire said, his shoulders raised.

“What do you mean, don’t be mad? You’re AirMusic, aren’t you?” Grantaire nodded, chewing the skin off his lips. “Why didn’t you tell me?! Oh my god, I’ve been with my fucking special interest this whole time and I didn’t know, oh my god!”

“Because you hate me,” Grantaire mumbled, burying his face in his hands. He said something else, but his words were muffled in his palms. 

“What do you mean I hate you?” Enjolras frowned, looking pointedly at Grantaire. 

“All we ever did until like, a month ago was argue. I pissed you off  _ constantly,  _ Apollo. You  _ should _ hate me. I didn’t want to ruin your favourite YouTuber for you,” he said, stretching the skin of his face back. 

“Grantaire, you-“ Enjolras stopped, and he stared down. “I’ll be back. I’m not mad or anything, I just need a cigarette. And I need to think. Okay?” Grantaire nodded silently, and Enjolras pressed a soft kiss to his forehead before leaving. Grantaire’s phone buzzed, and he checked the message. 

**epoqueen 🥵**

_ hey u good? just saw enj go outside _

Grantaire quickly typed a response, then tossed his phone on the bed and threw his arm over his eyes. 

**To: epoqueen 🥵**

_ i’m having a lowkey breakdown he just went to smoke _

Soon there was a soft knock on the door, and Eponine poked her head inside. “C’mere,” she said softly as she sat on the bed, pulling Grantaire close and holding him. “It’s all okay, you’re okay,” she half-sang, rocking the two of them back and forth, and Grantaire felt tears begin to spill down his cheeks. “It’s okay, you can cry, there’s no shame. You’re alright, ‘Taire.” Eponine kissed him softly on the head. “What happened, baby?”

“I pissed him off,” Grantaire hiccupped into Eponine’s shoulder, “I told him that he hates me, and he said he needed to go smoke and think. He should hate me, I’m a dick to him and I’m only good for sex!” He began to cry harder, and Eponine held him tighter. 

“Listen, okay Grantaire?” She smoothed his hair, then kissed his head. “That boy loves you with his whole heart. He looks at you and lights up, like you’re the centre of his universe. And we know he doesn’t sleep with just  _ anyone. _ I’d daresay he loves you, but I’m not him. I can’t speak for him like that.” Grantaire nodded, and Eponine continued to rock him and play with his hair until he was calmed down. “Better?” He nodded again, wiping the tears from his face. “He’s probably about done with his cigarette, so I’m gonna go… you know to text me if you need anything, yeah?”

“Yeah,” he finally said, then hugged her tight. “Love you, ‘Ponine.”

“Love you too, bottom. Good luck.” Eponine kissed Grantaire on the head, then left Grantaire alone in the room. 

He stared at Enjolras’ phone, left open on the bed, and he plugged it into the charger as he patted his own face. He felt like an idiot. He’d forced his own insecurities onto Enjolras, now he absolutely hated him. He’d fucked it up, surely he was going to be asked to leave. The door creaked open, and a tuft of golden curls poked in. “Hey,” Enjolras said, crawling onto the bed and sitting beside Grantaire. “I thought.”

“And what’s the verdict, dearest Apollo?” Grantaire asked, donning his usual façade. 

“You’re dumb,” Enjolras smiled, and as Grantaire opened his mouth to protest, Enjolras pressed a slender finger to his lips. “Listen. You think that I hate you. I don’t. I’m just a little shocked, I guess, that you’re AirMusic. But, I stand by what I said a bit ago.”

Grantaire frowned. “That I’m dumb?” he asked.

“Yes, but also that if I were to meet AirMusic, I’d date him,” Enjolras said.

Grantaire’s jaw dropped. He tried to speak, tried to form words,  _ anything, _ but nothing came. Enjolras honest to god  _ giggled _ at him, then pressed a kiss to his lips. He tasted like cigarette smoke and chocolate milk, and Grantaire couldn’t help but deepen the kiss. Enjolras pulled back after a moment and took Grantaire’s hand, looking at him. Not into his eyes, Enjolras couldn’t handle eye contact with anyone, but at him. “Will you be my boyfriend?”

“Listen, I’d love to, but I need to make sure we’re on the same page,” Grantaire breathed, squeezing his hand. “Are you ready for a relationship, or are you forcing yourself into this?”

“I’m ready, I just want to take it slow. Like, no I love you’s yet.” Grantaire nodded. “And I’m not doing this just because you’re AirMusic. I do want to be with you, R, because you’re you. Not because you make music that I love.” He nodded again, biting his lip. “And I want you to believe me when I say that  _ I like you for you. _ I don’t just say stuff like that, I wouldn’t ask anyone to be my boyfriend. I trust you, okay?” Grantaire felt tears prick into his eyes, and Enjolras kissed his cheek. “Do you believe me?”

“I’m trying to,” Grantaire whispered, “you understand I’m not in the best place mentally, right? I’m getting better, but progress isn’t linear.” It was Enjolras’ turn to nod. “I know you’re also in a bad spot, so know I’m here to listen, but while we’re together, we have to work on ourselves separately. Being each other’s therapist isn’t a good dynamic.” Enjolras nodded again, offering a small smile. “And I know you still… y’know.” He glanced down to Enjolras’ arm, and the smile faded. “I’m here for you on that, no matter what. You can text or call whenever, and I’ll come over immediately. I’ll do my best there, okay?” Another nod, this one softer. “And I’ll take this as slow as you want. You can initiate the I love you stuff, ‘cause I’m not ready to say that, either.” Grantaire gently kissed Enjolras’ forehead, earning a tiny smile. “Boyfriends?”

“Boyfriends,” Enjolras agreed, pressing their lips together. 

“Good, ‘cause if I just laid myself bare for nothing,” Grantaire joked, and Enjolras laughed and pressed more kisses to his face. “I’m kidding. Do you want to finish the video? Your special interest.” Enjolras grinned and nodded, and Grantaire unplugged his phone from the charger and unpaused the video. 

———

It was well past midnight, and the two were idly making out and passing a bowl back and forth. “Hey,” Enjolras murmured as Grantaire kissed at his neck, “do you think Courfeyrac and Combeferre are up to coming over?” Grantaire hummed and grabbed his phone, shooting a quick text. 

**To: slutboy supreme**

_ hey wanna have a smoking double date _

**slutboy supreme**

_ FUCK YES _

Grantaire shot a grin at Enjolras. “Courfeyrac said yes to hanging out. Is your bong clean?” he asked. 

“Of course it is,” Enjolras said, taking another pull from the bowl. “Let’s finish this off, okay?” Grantaire nodded and accepted the bowl, and by the time Courfeyrac and Combeferre were pulling into the driveway, the bong was prepared and the backyard fire pit was lit. “Can you tell them to just come through the gate? Papa’s asleep.” Grantaire nodded and pulled out his phone.

**To: slutboy supreme**

_ enj says come through the gate we’re in the backyard _

The gate flung open, and Courfeyrac struck a pose. “Heard you two sluts finally got together!” he yelled before bounding over and wrapping the two into a hug. “I’m so proud of you, making Mama Courf proud…”

Combeferre joined the three, adjusting his glasses as he sat nearby. “Yeah! It’s great to see you two together finally,” he added.

“We had bets on when you two would get together and now I’m out like, a billion and one euros,” Courfeyrac moped as he sat in Combeferre’s lap. “Feuilly won. Of course.”

“Yeah, he and I literally grew up together, I’d expect that. Never forget when he pronounced albino as ab-line-oh,” Enjolras smiled, “but he was like, five, so he gets a break.” He picked up the bong and his lighter and took a drag, then passed it to Grantaire. “Whichever one of you is driving, don’t smoke too much,” the blonde said as he watched Grantaire take a deep inhale. Combeferre nodded, and as Grantaire exhaled, he pressed a soft kiss to Enjolras’ cheek. “Thank you, baby,” he murmured. 

“Pet names already!” Courfeyrac gushed, clasping his hands together. Enjolras flushed and looked down, and Grantaire couldn’t help but smile. He was cute. “Don’t be embarrassed, my friend, ‘Ferre and I are the same! Look.” Courfeyrac pulled Combeferre into a deep kiss, wrapping his arms around his neck. “I love you, my sweet,” Courfeyrac said dreamily.

“We’re not quite that far,” Grantaire frowned. “You two have been together for, what, like, six or seven years?” Combeferre nodded. “Yeah. We just officially got together, and we’ve only been fucking for a few weeks before this.”

“I know that!” Courfeyrac said, and Grantaire passed the bong to Combeferre. “But still! My point was, you don’t have to feel all embarrassed for calling your boyfriend a sweet name in front of your friends!” Grantaire looked over to Enjolras, seeing him flush deeper at the usage of ‘boyfriend,’ and he pulled him in for a sweet kiss.  _ That _ only made Enjolras flush deeper. “Aw, he’s all flustered!”

“Have you told your sister and her girlfriends yet?” Combeferre asked as Courfeyrac grabbed the bong and the lighter. 

“Not yet. We’re telling them as a Christmas present. You two are the only ones that know, so keep that secret for now, okay?” Enjolras said, and the two nodded. “Thank you.”

“Anything for our wonderful bastard leader,” Courfeyrac cooed as he passed the bong. 

“Don’t call me that,” Enjolras sighed. He took a deep hit, then turned Grantaire’s face to shotgun the hit. When he pulled away, his face was even redder. “I’m baby,” he mumbled. Grantaire nodded in agreement, and Enjolras gave him another soft kiss. “Here.” He passed the pipe on. 

Grantaire watched Enjolras throughout the night, eventually taking his hand and tangling his fingers and causing him to flush a soft shade of pink, and once their two friends kissed them before leaving, 

he kissed Enjolras on the knuckles. “We should be getting to bed,” he murmured against his hand, then kissed his knuckles once more. “We do have things to do today.”

“Yes, well,” Enjolras said, squeezing Grantaire’s hand, “let’s get to bed, then.” The two raced up to Enjolras’ room once they’d cleaned everything up, and soon they were asleep, tangled up together under the blankets. 

They were awoken by Chester meowing at the door, wanting to be let in, and Enjolras groaned. The door was opened before either of them could move, and as Chester padded over to the bed, Maria stood in the doorway. “Merry Christmas!” she hummed.

Enjolras rubbed his eyes, and Grantaire managed to speak. “Happy Crimah,” he said.

“It’s Crimin,” Maria responded.

“Merry Crisis,” Cosette added from down the hall.

“Merry Chrysler,” Enjolras finished as he snuggled up to Grantaire. However, Chester jumping up onto the two of them made him grunt. “Okay, okay, hi,” he croaked as he rubbed the cat’s fluffy back. 

“I was told to tell you that we’re doing presents at noon,” Maria said, her voice gentle. 

“What time ‘s it now?” Grantaire slurred. 

“11:45,” Maria answered, then vanished down the hall. 

Enjolras groaned again, letting his eyes close, and just as he started to drift back into a deep sleep, Chester began kneading at his hip. “Chester, you’re bastard. Bastard boy,” he mumbled as he rubbed Chester’s head, then kissed Grantaire a few times. “You’re also bastard boy,” he added. 

“No, you,” said Grantaire as he stretched. “Everyone’s probably screaming about the video. They’ve wanted a face reveal for years, and they kinda got it. Not my full face, but.” Enjolras nodded, kissing his cheek. “You’re baby.” A soft smile, and Grantaire couldn’t help but kiss him a few times. “C’mon, we gotta go do Christmas, then we can come back and be stupid together.” Grantaire tried to tug Enjolras up, but he merely whined and wiggled displeasedly. “If you get up, I’ll give you a kiss.”

“You’re gonna kiss me no matter what,” Enjolras grumbled as he slowly got up, and as promised, Grantaire pressed a few soft kisses to his lips. “Thank you. Let’s go.”

They made their way downstairs, still clad in their pyjamas and their hair unkempt, and Cosette couldn’t help but giggle as they sat down. “What took you two so long?” she asked, and Enjolras curled up to Grantaire’s side. 

“Sometimes you just gotta smooch your boyfriend,” Grantaire shrugged. 

Their reaction was immediate. Valjean straightened up and raised his brows, Maria clasped her hands together with a smile, Eponine just wiggled her eyebrows a few times, and Cosette jumped up with a loud cry of ‘finally!’ “So you two talked it all out, right?” Eponine asked. 

“Yeah,” Enjolras said, his head on Grantaire’s shoulder. Grantaire pressed a kiss to his temple, and he smiled a bit. “Gifts?”

Christmas came and went, as it so often does, and eventually Grantaire and Enjolras were snuggled up with Chester in bed. “You’re comfy,” Grantaire mumbled, and Enjolras stirred. “Cozy. My bastard boyfriend is snuggly.” Enjolras breathed out a laugh against his neck, then pressed a kiss to the tanned skin. “Your dad’s fine with me, right?”

Enjolras looked up, a lazy smile on his face. “He wouldn’t let you stay here if he wasn’t, ‘Taire,” he said, tangling his fingers in Grantaire’s hair and giving him a few soft kisses. “We should tell the others.” Grantaire nodded and pulled out his phone. 

**To: les amis de l’gbt**

_ enjolras and i are dating _

**bawhorel**

_ FINALLY _

**slutboy supreme**

_ ABOUT TIME YOU SAID THAT _

**cob**

_ he almost told everyone _

**slutboy supreme**

_ >:( _

**jehan**

_ oh worm me too _

**feuilly**

_ huh? _

**jehan**

_ montparnasse asked me out uwu _

**To: les amis de l’gbt**

_ WORM! _

“Jehan and Montparnasse got together,” Grantaire smiled. 

“Very good,” Enjolras murmured, then pulled Grantaire in for a kiss. It quickly became heated, and ended with Enjolras halfway out of his shirt, before they realised who was still there. “Shit, sorry baby. You don’t need to see this.” Enjolras pulled his shirt off the rest of the way and deposited Chester outside his door, then quickly returned to the task at hand, soon at the mercy of Grantaire’s devilish fingers. 

———

Enjolras woke up around noon the next day, pantsless and wrapped in a hoodie too big to be his own. He looked down to see the Green Day hoodie Grantaire had dressed him in the night prior, his cheeks flushing at the memory despite none of that being anything new. However, soon more memory flooded in, and he sat up to find his boxers. His friends were visiting, and he wasn’t exactly looking for a dick-out look for them. “Babe?” he called, and frowned at the lack of an answer. “‘Taire?”

As he tugged his jeans on and buttoned them, he peeked out the door. “R?” he asked, then began to head downstairs. The floor was cold under his socked feet, and he looked around the living room. The Christmas decorations were already put away, and there was no sign of Grantaire. “Grantaire?” Enjolras called. He was really starting to worry. He headed out through the kitchen and into the backyard, and he breathed a sigh of relief. There was Grantaire, with a mug of tea and a joint. “There you are,” Enjolras said as he curled up to Grantaire’s side. 

“Sorry,” Grantaire said as Enjolras stole a hit. “It’s pretty out.” Enjolras looked up and nodded. “Jehan said they’re bringing Montparnasse.” Enjolras nodded again. “C’mere.” He pressed a few kisses to his boyfriend’s lips as the morning sun gently shone down on them, and all felt peaceful, at least for now. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [tumblr](http://soupjolras.tumblr.com)  
> name guide:  
> enjolras: apollinaire  
> grantaire: lucien  
> courfeyrac: baudouin  
> combeferre: tristan  
> joly: olivier  
> feuilly: alaire  
> bahorel: filibert  
> lesgle: florence


End file.
